Yu Gi Oh! and the Not Really Holy Exodia Cards
by ButterflyGuitar
Summary: ~CH 5 IS UP! CH 3 REPOSTED!~ Yami stars as King of Games in this Yu-Gi-Oh! and Monty Python and the Holy Grail parody. Ryou has come upon an Angry Mob and they have discovered a cheater! Will she be disqualified? R&R! ^_^
1. Tree Scene

~A/N~ BG: Hey…all. (You see Butterfly looking spacey and sick, with red lines under her eyes.)

Yugi: Butterfly! What's wrong with you?

BG: I'm sick. Brrrr! It's cold in here, or is it just me?

All: It's just you.

BG: Shoot. T_T Ah, well, as sick as I am, I'm STILL going to write a fic! ^_^ It's going to mix two of my favorite things, Yu-Gi-Oh! and Monty Python!

(cricket chirps)

Joey: That's been done to DEATH!

BG: SO? I'm still going to do it! The ENTIRE thing! MUAHA!

All: O.O

BG: BEHOLD! "Yu-Gi-Oh! and the Not-Really-Holy Exodia Cards"!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Monty Python. T.T 

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(You hear wind blowing, and the sounds of someone going "VROOM VROOM!")

Yami: Hold it there!

(The "VROOM VROOM!" dies down.)

Bones: (Sitting on a tree.) Stop! Who's that?

Yami: It is I. Yami Yugi Mouto, son of some ancient Egyptian Pharoah, from the ancient place of Egypt. King of Games, defeater of Seto Kaiba, soverign of all games!

Bones: Pull the other one!

Yami: I am. And this is my trusty…err…'friend' Mokuba. We have driven the length and breadth of this island in search of duelists who will join me at the triangle duel arena at Pegasus's castle. I must speak with your boss.

Bones: What, driving in a car?

Yami: Yeah!

Bones: You're using a sound effects machine!

Yami: Huh?

Bones: You've got a giant sound effects machine and your making the "VROOM VROOM!" noise!

Yami: So? We have driven since the very beginning of this tournament, through the vast forests, through the wastlands of…err…"Wastland Area", through—

Bones: Where'd you get the effects machine?

Yami: We found it.

Bones: Found it? On this island? The effects machine is well…err…technology!

Yami: What do you mean?

Bones: Well, this is a rual island.

Yami: The technology freaks may have come here, or the DJ or the sound effects master may have as well, seeking adventure away from their boring daily rutine, yet these are not strangers to this tournament.

Bones: Are you suggesting that someone brought it here?

Yami: Not at all, it could be transported by a canoe.

Bones: What—a canoe carrying a sound effects machine?

Yami: It could be towed by a rubber floatie!

Bones: It's not a question of how it's towed! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A 50 pound canoe could NOT tow a 100 pound sound effects machine!

Yami: Well it doesn't matter. Would you please go and tell your boss that Yami from the arena of Pegasus's Castle is here?

Bones: Listen. In order to maintain momentum, a canoe has to tow something that has a maximum weight of 10 pounds, right?

Yami: PLEASE!

Bones: Am I right?

Yami: I'm not listening!

Another one of Keith's phonys: It could be carried by a English canoe!

Bones: Oh, yeah, an English canoe maybe, but not a Japanese canoe, that's my point.

AOOKP: Oh, sure, I agree with that.

Yami: . Would you PLEASE ask your boss if he wants to join my arena at Pegaus's castle?!

Bones: But then, English canoes are not sold here.

AOOKP: Oh yeah…

Bones: So they couldn't bring a fx machine anyway…

("VROOM VROOM!")

AOOKP: Wait a second—suppose two canoes carried it together?

Bones: No, they'd have to carry it by a giant floating barge.

AOOKP: Well, simple! They could use a piece of wood, and float it with balloons!

Bones: What, taped under the piece of wood?

AOOKP: Why not?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BG: End the "Tree Scene". Hey, do ya'll think this is good? Because I know this has been done a lot, but I'm taking a shot at it. ^_^U So, um, just read and review, pretty please? (Gives unmatched puppy eyes.)

Joey: NOOOOOOO! NOT THE EVIL PUPPY EYES!

All: O.OU

BG: Hmm. Too much sugar can have that effect on people. If I should continue the insanity, please let me know, ok? And go easy on the flames, I'm a sensitive person…(Pouting face.)

Yugi: Uh huh. I wanna say "HI!" to Oracle103, my ever loving girlfriend!

Oracle103: ^_____^

BG: If you're reading this, and are completely lost, read my fic named "Mew's Mansion". It's pretty funny! ^__^ Hasta la byebye! 

R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R


	2. Bring Out Your Disqualified!

~A/N~ BG: I'm still sick. X.X So I'm staying home today, and I'm bringing another chapter of insanity to you! ^_^

Yugi: Shouldn't you be "resting"?

BG: O.O SHHHHHHHHH!

Yugi: .

Yami: Um, maybe you should go take a nap, before your mom gets home.

BG: What, and not bring chaos and insanity to the world?

Yami: .

BG: ^_^ Just read this, pwetty pwease?

DISCLAIMER: Me no own nothing. Not Yu-Gi-Oh! not Monty Python. Unngh.

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One of Pegasus's Worker dudes (we'll call him Bob): Bring out your disqualified! Bring out your disqualified! (Rings a bell and it goes BOING) Bring out your disqualified! Bring out your disqualified! (BOING) The boat leaves in 5 minuets! Have your tickets ready! Bring out your disqualified! (BOING)

Some Random Duelist (we'll call him Will): Here's one. Here's his ticket.

Another Random Duelist (we'll call him Mark): I'm not disqualified!

Bob: Huh?

Will: Nothing—here's your ticket.

Mark: I'm not disqualified!

Bob: Here—he says he's not disqualified!

Will: Yes he is.

Mark: Nuh uh!

Bob: He isn't.

Will: Well, he will be soon. He's not very good.

Mark: I'm getting better!

Will: Oh no you're not, you'll be booted off the island in a moment.

Bob: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.

Mark: I don't want to go in the boat!

Will: Oh, don't be such a weenie.

Bob: I can't take him.

Mark: I've got 2 star chips!

Will: Oh, do us all a favor.

Bob: I can't.

Will: Well, could you hang around for a couple of minuets? Someone will come around and beat him, I'm sure.

Bob: Nope. I've got to get the ones from Panik. He's beaten 7 today.

Will: Well, when's your next round?

Bob: Tomorrow morning.

Mark: I think I'll go challenge someone.

Will: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look, isn't there something you can do?

Mark: I feel lucky! I feel lucky! (Bob then knocks Mark unconscious, and takes his star chips.)

Will: Ah, thanks a lot.

Bob: My pleasure. See you tomorrow.

Will: Ok.

(Yami & Mokuba go running by with the effects machine going "VROOM VROOM")

Bob: Who in the heck is that?

Will: Must be the king of games.

Bob: How do you know?

Will: He's got all of his star chips, and there's a stampede of rabid fan girls following him.

(We see a stampede of rabid Yami fan girls running far behind.)

Bob & Will: O.OU

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BG: Well, this is the best I could do, for now. MUAHAHAHA..cough cough. Baka flu. 

Yami: Hmm. You need some sleep.

BG: Good idea…(goes to the couch, and falls asleep) -.- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yami: Good night, sweetheart, well it's time to go…

All: O.OU

Joey: Read & Review!

BG: (gives her puppy eyes in her sleep)

Joey: AHHHHHH! (Ducks behind the couch)

BG: (snore) It's time to duel…(snore)

Yugi: Aw, great, she snores. And sleeptalks. -_-

Mai: Just read this insane piece of fiction. Then push the purpleish/blueish button at the bottom and review! Please?

Joey: You're not doing it properly, its PWEAAAAZE??

Mai: -_-


	3. Common Duelists

~A/N~ BG: Cough. I *****should* be doing homework. But, it can wait. Besides, I've got the rest of the day ahead of me! ^_^

All: -_-U

Tristan: At this rate, she'll be stuck in the 10th grade for sure…

BG: :P NEVER! I'll get out of it! You'll see!

Tristan: -_-

BG: And just for that, you're going to be in this chapter! MUAHA!

Tristan: Me and my big mouth…

Tea: HAHA!

BG: I wouldn't be laughing, Tea. You're going to be in it, too! MUAHA!

Tea: O.O

BG: Let the insanity begin!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Monty Python.

Kazuki Takahashi: @.@ Butterfly owns Yu-Gi-Oh…

All: Not again!

BG: ^_^U Oh, all right.

DISCLAIMER: …Or Yu-Gi-Oh!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(VROOM VROOM!)

Yami: Young lady!

Tristan: Man!

Yami: Man, sorry. What duelist lives in that tent over there?

Tristan: I'm 16.

Yami: What?

Tristan: I'm 16. I'm not that young.

Yami: Well, I can't just call you "man".

Tristan: Well, you could say "Tristan".

Yami: Well, I didn't know you were called "Tristan".

Tristan: Well, you never asked, did you?

Yami: I did say sorry about the "young lady", but from behind you looked—

Tristan: What I'm mad about is that you automatically treat me like some common duelist!

Yami: Well, I AM the king…

Tristan: Oh, king, very nice. And just how did you become king? By mercelessly stomping helpless duelists who are just trying to have some fun, who complain and then never want to play again! If there's ever going to be any progress in the games…

Tea: Ooh, Tristan, there's some lovely arenas down there. Oh—how do you do?

Yami: Hello, good lady. I am Yami, King of all Games. Who's tent is that?

Tea: King of the what?

Yami: All games.

Tea: What are the games?

Yami: Well, Duel Monsters. Duel Monsters is the game, and I am its king.

Tea: I didn't know it had a king. I thought it was just a game.

Tristan: You're fooling yourself. This game is a cruel example of when good people go bad. A harmless game to beginners at first, until the master class comes and stomps them—

Tea: Oh, there you go. Bringing classes into it again.

Tristan: That is what it is all about. If ONLY people would—

Yami: Please, please, good duelists. I'm in a hurry. Who lives in that tent?

Tea: No one lives there.

Yami: Then who is your boss?

Tea: We don't have one.

Yami: Huh?

Tristan: We are a power-sharing group of duelists. We take turns acting as the boss every week.

Yami: Yes.

Tristan: But, the changes and choices that that boss makes have to be decided on at a special bi-weekly meeting.

Yami: Yes, I see.

Tristan: Usually by a small majority in decisions that effect just the group—

Yami: Be quiet!

Tristan: --but by a two-thirds majority in changes that effect outside people—

Yami: Be quiet! I order you to HUSH!

Tea: Order—who does he think he is?

Yami: I'm the king!

Tea: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Yami: You don't vote for kings.

Tea: Then how did you become king?

Yami: I created the game in ancient Egypt (Egyptian music plays) when I was trapped in the Millenium Puzzle. 3000 years later, my hikari, Yugi, discovered the puzzle and solved it. Pegasus stole the idea for Duel Monsters from me. (Music stops) And that is why I'm the king!

Tristan: That's lovely and all, but just because you were trapped in a pyramid-shaped puzzle for 3000 years doesn't make you the king of this game! Leadership requires consent from the masses, not some ancient form of amusement.

Yami: Be quiet!

Tristan: Well, you can't expect to be king for very long just because you SUPPOSEDLY invented this game in ancient times!

Yami: Shut up!

Tristan: I mean, if I were to go around saying that I created solitare some several thousand years ago and that I was ruler of it, they'd put me in an insitute!

Yami: Shut up! Will you just SHUT UP?!?

Tristan: Ah, now we see the wrath of the ancient king!

Yami: . SHUT UP!

Tristan: AHH! Come and see the wrath of the king!—HELP! HELP! I'm being oppressed!

Yami: Baka commoner!

Tristan: Oh, what a dead give away. Did you hear that? I say, did you hear that? That's what I'm on about—did you see him oppressing me? You saw it didn't you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tristan: (mumbles something that no one can hear)

BG: Heehee. 

Yami: ^__^ I am king of games!! MUAHA!

BG: Yes, yes, we know you are the "amusement king".

Yami: ?.?

BG: HA. When I went to the ancient Yu-Gi-Oh site (the one where it shows Kaiba with green hair), it was all in Japanese. So I translated it using the ever so trusty Babel Fish translator (property of Alta Vista). And everywhere it said "Yu-Gi-Oh", it translated into "amusement king".

Yami: .

BG: It was kind of funny. It was calling Tea the "apricot child" and Kaiba "hippocampus".

Tea: O.O

Kaiba: What the--?

BG: It was strange…but I don't remember the address for the site. -_- ANYWAY, pweaze R&R!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	4. Psycho Duelist

~AN~ BG: I'm back! Here to bring you a new chapter to this chaotic fic! The famous "Black Knight" scene. Or, for the setting here, the "Black Duelist". Starring none other that Yami Bakura (called Bakura from now on)!

Bakura: Oh boy. I'm tingling with excitement. -_-

BG: And you should be! Because Yami's about to kick your butt! ^_^

Bakura: And again I say, oh boy. -_-

Yami: WOOHOO! Revenge is MINE! ^_^

BG: A quick note to all the people who suggested scenes, I hopefully (if all goes well) will be doing **all** of the Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie. The "killer bunny" scene will come, you have my word on it. And now, to the fic!

DISCLAIMER: I continue to not own Monty Python and the Holy Grail OR Yu-Gi-Oh! (sniff). So don't sue me. You would get absolutly nothing out of it, other than a large headache.

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(Bakura has just finished dueling another helpless duelist in a duel that was TOTALLY unfair, and has beaten him severly, as Yami and Mokuba "drive" up. They look to cross the bridge.)

Yami: You duel with the knowledge of many smart guys, great duelist.

(Bakura says nothing.)

Yami: I am Yami, King of Games.

(Bakura still says nothing.)

Yami: I'm looking for the bravest and smartest duelists to join me at my triangle duel arena at Pegasus's Castle.

(Bakura is still rendered speechless.)

Yami: You seem good enough, will you join me?

(You'd think he was dumb or something!)

Yami: Fine then. :P Come on, Mokuba.

Bakura: None shall pass here.

Yami: What?

Bakura: None shall pass here.

Yami: I don't want to duel you dude, but I have to cross here.

Bakura: Then your soul shall be forever trapped in the Shadow Realm.

Yami: I order you as King of Games to MOVE OUT THE WAY!

Bakura: I ain't moving for you, dummy!

Yami: THAT'S IT!

(They go on the arena that's by the bridge. Bakura calls out a Kuriboh. Yami calls out a Blue Eyes White Dragon and a Red Eyes Black Dragon, and he also plays Polymerization and fuses them together, making the Purple Eyes Grey Dragon. The PEGD and the Kuriboh then begin to fight. After a minute, the PEGD blows the poor thing away.)

Yami: Now, let me go through!

Bakura: It's a minor loss.

Yami: A minor loss? I've blown your Kuriboh away!

Bakura: No you haven't.

Yami: Where is it then?

Bakura: I've had worse problems.

Yami: Liar!

Bakura: Come on you poor excuse for a pharoah!

(Bakura then plays the Red Eyes Black Dragon. After 3 minutes, the PEGD blows him away.)

Yami: I've won. Go me! Go me! Go—(Bakura throws a rock at him.)

Bakura: Bring it on!

Yami: Wha?

Bakura: You heard me!

Yami: You are truly brave, but the duel is mine.

Bakura: Chickening out, are you?

Yami: Look, you idiot, your Kuriboh and REBD are gone!

Bakura: I've got more!

Yami: Nu-uh!

Bakura: Yeah-huh! (He throws another rock at Yami.)

Yami: QUIT IT!

Bakura: Chicken! Chicken!

Yami: Play another card!

(Bakura then plays a Blue Eyes White Dragon. After 5 minuets, it too is blown away by the PEGD.)

Bakura: I'll get you for that!

Yami: You'll what?

Bakura: Bring it on!

Yami: What are you going to do? Throw another rock at me?

Bakura: I'M UNSTOPPABLE!!!

Yami: You're a psycho.

Bakura: YAMI BAKURA ALWAYS TRIUMPHS!!! I'm not scared of you! Come on!

(Bakura then plays all 5 cards of Exodia. After 7 minutes, the PEGD blows him away, too. ^_~)

Bakura: O…kay. We'll call it a tie.

Yami: Come on Mokuba.

(Yami and Mokuba "drive" off.)

Bakura: (yelling at them) Running away are you? Some king you are! Come back and get what's coming to you! I'll obliterate you all! MUAHAHAHAHA…ha…ha?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BG: So end the "Black Duelist". Or the "Psycho Duelist" as I prefer. ^_~

Bakura: I actually am unstoppable.

Yami: No you're not.

Bakura: Yes I am.

Yami: Nope, sorry.

Bakura: Yes huh!

Yami: Nuh-uh!

(This continues for several minutes…)

BG: O.OU Heh, ignore them. Just read & review! ^_~ OH, and when I said "dumb", I meant as in "can't speak", not as in "stupid". I promise! And I actually do like Kuribohs. They're so cute! (Hugs her Kuriboh.) 

R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R


	5. A Cheater! A Cheater!

BG: Whoa! I haven't updated this in a LONG time! Ok, I had some free time today, so I wrote a new chapter. ^_^

Yami: Oh boy. I'm the King of Games, go me, go me…

Midori: And so cute you are! ^^

BG: _ Midori…what have we talked about?

Midori: Aww…

BG: He's mine, duh.

Midori: Aw, shucks.

BG: Humph. Anyway, thanks J. Katherine Wong for explaining the mystery of the characters names. I wish I could find the site again though. -_-U And, thanks to all who reviewed! All good so far. So, here we go again.

Midori: (is attempting to sneak Yami out of the room)

BG: MIDORI!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I also don't own any money, therefore suing would be useless. Enjoy!

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(The hooded Shadow Realm dudes are chanting, "Realm of shadows in this twilight hour, accept these balloons and give us flowers!")

Ryou: O_O

HSRD: Oops. (go back to the Shadow Realm)

Ryou: -_- (he walks on, and discovers an angry mob)

(Yami and Mokuba drive up and watch the scene)

Angry Mob: A cheater! A cheater! A cheater! We've got a cheater! A cheater!

Dude #1: We've discovered a cheater! May we disqualify her?

Ryou: How do you know she is a cheater?

Dude #2: She looks like one!

Angry Mob: Duh!

Ryou: Bring her forward. (the crowd pushes Miho forward)

Miho: I'm not a cheater. I'm like, SO not a cheater!

Ryou: (sees tons of secret pockets and things that look like cards hiding in her socks, for he is trained to see such things) But you are equipped like one.

Miho: They like, put this stuff on me.

Angry Mob: We did not! No!

Miho: And these are SO not my socks!

Ryou: Well?

Dude #1: Well, we did do the socks.

Ryou: The socks?

Dude #1: And the pockets—but she is a cheater!

Angry Mob: Disqualify her! Cheater! Cheater! Disqualify her!

Ryou: Did you dress her up like this?

Angry Mob: No! No, no…no…yes. Yes, yes, just a bit. A little.

Dude #1: She has got fake cards!

Ryou: What makes you think she is a cheater?

Dude #3: Well, she beat me with a Petite Angel!

Ryou: O_O A Petite Angel?

Dude #3: I'm getting better.

Dude #2: Disqualify her anyway!

Angry Mob: Disqualify! Disqualify her!

Ryou: Oy, can it will you? There are ways of telling whether she is a cheater.

Angry Mob: Really? What are they?

Ryou: Tell me, what do you do with cheaters?

Dude #2: Disqualify!

Angry Mob: Disqualify! Disqualify them off!

Ryou: And what do you disqualify apart from cheaters?

Dude #1: More cheaters!

Dude #2: Duelists with no star chips!

Ryou: So, why do you disqualify cheaters?

(very long dead silence…)

Dude #3: B—cause they're not following the rules?

Ryou: Good!

Angry Mob: Oh yeah, yeah…

Ryou: So, how do we tell whether she doesn't follow the rules?

Dude #1: Watch her in a duel.

Ryou: Ah, but there aren't any arenas around here.

Dude #2: Oh, yeah.

Ryou: Do cheaters and people who lie have short noses?

Dude #1: No, no.

Dude #2: They have long noses!

Dude #1: Measure her nose!

Angry Mob: Her nose! Her nose!

Ryou: What else have long noses?

Dude #1: Elephants!

Dude #2: Tapirs!

Dude #3: Uh, anteaters!

Dude #1: Hoses!

Dude #2: My Aunt Ruth!

Dude #1: Bananas!

Dude #2: My ex-girlfriend!

Dude #3: Spiders! Spiders!

Dude #2: Cars—cars!

Yami: Pinocchio.

Angry Mob: Oooooh.

Ryou: Exactly! So, logically…

Dude #1: If…her…nose is as long as Pinocchio's, she doesn't follow the rules.

Ryou: And therefore--?

Dude #1: A cheater!

Angry Mob: A cheater! A cheater!

Ryou: We shall use my most accurate ruler.

(yelling and screaming. Someone gets a wooden puppet and sits him next to Miho. Dude #3 is holding a ruler.)

Ryou: Right! Measure the noses!

(Dude #3 measures the noses and they are the same length)

Angry Mob: A cheater! A cheater!

Miho: (sob) My nose isn't that big!

Angry Mob: Disqualify! Disqualify!

(yelling—the Angry Mob takes Miho away)

Ryou: Who are you, so smart in the matter of noses?

Yami: I am Yami, King of Games.

Ryou: (gasp) The king!

Yami: Good duelist, will you come with me to Pegasus's Castle, and join us at the triangle duel arena?

Ryou: Ooh! I'd be honored.

Yami: What is your name?

Ryou: Ryou.

Yami: Then I dub, err, call you Ryou, duelist of the triangle arena.

Narrator: The wise Ryou was the first to join Yami's duelists, but other great names were soon to follow: Seto Kaiba the Brave; Yugi Moto the Sweet & Innocent; and Joey Wheeler the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Seto who had nearly fought two of Pegasus's guards, who nearly stood up to the vicious Mako Tsunami and who had personally been totally and completely scared (like a puppy dog) while dueling Bones; and the aptly named Wishes-she-could-be-in-this-fic. (Butterfly sighs) Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the next couple of months, the Duelists of the Triangle Arena.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yami: What, no self-insertion?

BG: No, not this time.

Joey: I AM NOT A DOG!

BG: Oh, hush. You're one of my favorite characters, but you still have to be somewhat bashed.

Joey: (sigh) A small price for being the best.

Yugi: Yeah, only second best.

Joey: Grrr.

Are you confused yet? If you read chapter three before this update, you would have seen Ryou in the scene with Tea. I couldn't think of anyone to be Bedemir, because I couldn't think of anyone else. So, I changed chapter three, so now Tristan is in it with Tea. And Ryou became the wise Bedemir.

Ryou: ^_^

^_^ Yeah, and as you can tell from this chapter, Seto is Lancelot, Yugi is Galahad, and Joey is Robin. Heehee. Ok, let the silliness continue! Please read and review!

Oh, yeah. And if Miho seemed a bit out of character, it's because I know nothing about her! I just know she was in the first season, and I needed a female character. So, sorry! R&R!

I know how not to be seen! HA! ^_^ 


End file.
